Friday, November 18, 2011


Up not as early...... looking forward to no bubbles today..........The kind people of the night did not wake me up so early today.  :)  per doctor's orders..........
Being stuck in a small room, thank God for the window, it has made me think of so many things.  What is trust?  I trust that you will finish that homework assignment,  I trust you will pick up the cleaning, I trust you will tell so and so to come by at 5, I trust that my new car will work and has gas in it.  Those trusts are more like expectations.  I trust/expect that my lights will turn on and my refridgerator is working.  I trust/expect that when I send a letter it will get through our Postal Service.
But the kind of trust that you have to hang on the edge and you have no control over, is the trust I am talking about.  I trust that God is hearing our prayers and will seal up this lung.  I trust my Dr. knows everything and chooses the best care for me.  I trust that my nurses know what they are doing.  I trust that I will get better and go back to work.  When you are in relationships you have to put out that kind of trust.  The kind that if it doesn't work, you will be hurt and singed and it will be hard to get over.  Life has expectations and it has trust.  Trust takes guts.  It takes the conversations with yourself  "should I give over to that possibility?" But when it works and you have that trust, it is all so worth the worry.  That complete and peaceful feeling that yeah, I trust in you or I trust in that and I feel safe.  That's what I have with my husband, my mother, Dr. B and all the rest of my friends and family that have come to me in my hour of incarceration. 

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